


Still Missing You

by MaddieandChimney



Series: 911 Week 2020 [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, tw: mentions of parental death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25259608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: 911 Week Day 5 - “It’s okay, you can cry.” + comfortIt's Maddie's first Mother's Day and Chimney wants to make it all about her, but she knows he's hurting.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: 911 Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823050
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Still Missing You

“Happy Mother’s Day!” Chimney smiles as he walks into their bedroom with their six-month-old daughter, gently rubbing her back before he places her on Maddie’s chest. The mother is all too happy to wrap her arms around the tiny girl, pressing kisses to the top of her head as she smiles. He watches her for a moment, before he moves to lay next to them, just admiring the way Maddie interacts with the baby, how Amelia looks at her mother as though she’s her whole world.

“I’ve got a fun packed day planned for your very first Mother’s Day.” He finally says, smiling when she looks at him, momentarily stopping in her pulling silly faces at the gurgling baby. “We’re going out for breakfast first, then we’re going for that hike you keep harassing me about. Then we’re going to Uncle Bobby and Aunt Athena’s house for lots more cuddles and a big family meal.” He puts on his best baby voice as he gently pinches Amelia’s chubby cheeks, causing her to squeal loudly.

“I’ll even buy you ice cream on the way home.” He looks between his two girls, until he notices that Maddie only has a small smile on her face. “We don’t have to, if you want to do something else—”

“No-no, I want to do all that… spending the day with my two most favourite people and then all my other favourites.” Her hand moves to his cheek, softly brushing her fingers along his cheekbone, giving him a small, sad smile, “But when are we going to visit your mom?”

He visibly flinches, biting down a little too harshly on his bottom lip before he sighs, “I’ll go tomorrow.” The words are rushed out, forcing himself to give her a smile, until he keeps his focus on Amelia so he doesn’t have to see the look in his girlfriends eyes right then.

“No, today is Mother’s Day… I know you go every time, you can’t just… not go. We can go between breakfast and the hike. Here,” She gestures towards the beautiful bunch of flowers she had woken up to from him, “We’ll take these—”

“No, no, I bought them for you.”

“You can buy me more.” Maddie presses her lips to his cheek, before she settles Amelia in the crook of her arm, so she can shift that little bit closer to him. “It’s okay, you can cry.” Her voice is gentle, causing Chimney to quickly shake his head, a trembling hand moving to rest on her stomach. His thumb brushes against the material of her top, focusing on the way Amelia’s big, brown eyes are just staring up at her mom, her mouth wide open. He wonders if he once looked at his mother in the same way, so completely enamoured, trusting.

“It’s your special day, I wanted today to be about you.”

“Why can’t it be about both of us?” Maddie is quick to respond, “You’re allowed to be sad, even today. Especially today.” It’s relief, when the tears finally fall down his face and she pulls him towards her gently, until his head is resting on her chest and she wraps an arm tightly around him. “There we go, its okay to miss your mom, Chim.”

“I-It’s been nearly twenty years,” He lets out a sad, slightly bitter laugh, fingers gripping around her top. “Why does it still hurt so much?” Maddie doesn’t answer him, only presses her lips to the top of his head as her hand rubs his back. For a while, the day had been tinged with sadness but one he could relatively get through. This year… the engagement ring he had bought a few weeks before weighed heavily on his mind because he wanted to tell his mom all about this amazing woman he had fallen in love with. He wanted to see her smile when he told her, he wanted to see her holding Amelia in her arms. Chimney longed more than anything for her to have gotten the chance to be a grandmother, he may have only had her for fifteen years of her life but he knew she would have made a wonderful grandparent to their beautiful little girl.

Mr and Mrs Lee had been amazing from the beginning, the two doting grandparents but it wasn’t the same. The image he had of his own mother holding Amelia tortured his mind, knowing she would only ever get to know the woman through stories he told her. Just as Maddie got snippets here and there, little stories about the amazing woman who had raised the man she loved.

“Feeling better?” She whispers, when the sobbing subsides and his grip on her loosens, smiling at him when his head tilts up to look at her.

“How did I get so lucky?” There’s no straight answer, Chimney knows he will never be able to understand exactly what he did so right to be laying in bed right then with the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, whilst she holds their baby girl.

“I have no idea but someone needs a diaper change and it’s Mother’s Day so…” She’s grinning at him, moving her arm from around his shoulders only to lift their daughter and practically throw her into her father’s arms.

“Are you going to use that excuse all day?” He knows by the glint in her eyes that she is, both of them sitting up until her lips are pressed to his tear-stained cheeks, until he tilts his head to connect their lips. “Thank you. I love you.”

“And I…” Her finger bops his nose ever so gently, “Am very much in love with you, Howard Han. Now go do your fatherly duties so I can try and make myself look presentable.” Chimney only gives her a lopsided smile, tears in his eyes as he just breathes in her in for a second.

“You’re beautiful but fine, me and Amelia got some secret plans we need to discuss anyway.” He glances down at his daughter, looking into the eyes that remind him so much of his own, his mother’s eyes as Mrs Lee always likes to remind him. “Let’s get ready to go see grandma, baby girl.”

He still misses her, but there’s a small piece of her in his arms and even though it’s not _everything_ , it’s something. And if that’s all he can have, it’s enough. 


End file.
